With a crazy work schedule today, my sweet husband agreed to blog for me. So, introducing my better half, Brad...
For many people, Fall is their most favorite time of the year. There are many great reasons for that. The weather begins to cool, the canyons are on fire with the changing colors of nature, of course there is the harvest, and for some, they look forward to the hunting season. My reasons for loving this time of year are far more simple, but in my opinion every bit as exciting.
Walter Camp is the one that can be blamed for this. He is the one that came up with the idea of a line of scrimmage, and the down and distance rule. Many others have made their contributions along the way, but Mr. Camp is widely considered the father of American Football. So I need to say thank you Walter for helping to make this time of year my favorite.
So what is it that makes this such a great time of the year for me? Football is a violent, almost gladiator like contest. It involves great preparation, strategy and execution. Those that participate at the highest levels are incredible athletes. I believe there is no other sport that requires more team effort than football. And while I enjoy these aspects of the sport, there are other things that are outside of the actual game that I also enjoy. What other sport do you show up for on game day 4 hours before the game starts? Not sure who the founder of tailgating was, but he is a genius. Hanging out with friends and family, throwing around a ball and just hanging out are a great part of the game. At least it is in my family. I have a son that doesn’t like sports all that much, but he rarely misses a game, because he knows it is important to me, and it is a chance for he and I to spend some time together. I appreciate that more then he will ever know.
Football has given me a chance to see several areas of the country as my brothers and I, along with our dad have had the good fortune to travel to many away games. That has been a great chance for us emotionally closed men to bond. I have to remember that because I love Saturday football games in the Fall, it isn’t for everyone. I should have never “surprised” Jeri with a trip to Rice/Eccles stadium and a game time bratwurst for her birthday one year. In my defense it was our first year of marriage and she didn’t have a chance to properly train me. However this year she got the same “birthday surprise”, what a great women to put up with me for 20 years with surprises like that! Jeri has also learned that there is more to the game then a bunch of over sized sweaty guys running into each other and hugging.
So by way of advice let me say a few things. Season tickets to your favorite team is a great birthday gift, if you’re a guy. Stadiums are the only place on earth where all the favorite “guy” food can be found in one place, that alone makes it a truly special place to be. Spending $52 dollars for donuts for a weekend road game is totally reasonable. We guys really do need a different team shirt for each day of the week. And occasionally a foam finger, painted belly, or even a cheese head are acceptable fashion statements in the right setting. Thanks for listening……Brad
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Book Signings
Recently I came across a subject of discussion on one of the writers lines I belong to. While I didn’t participate in the subject but was merely a lurker, It was interesting to me to read all the comments being said on this particular subject.
Apparently what started the discussion was a new author was about to embark on their first book signing and was asking for any helpful hints and suggestions to make their first book signing a success.
Many people wrote in with ideas – some of which I will share—but the topic of discussion got me thinking a bit.
It doesn’t seem like all that long ago I was asking the very same question of my friend Kerry Blair. I was about to do my first book signing and I had no idea what I was up against.
As always, Kerry gave me some helpful hints that have stuck with me and with time I have learned a few things along the way.
I know that if I were to ask each author on this blog, I believe that each of us would agree that with our book signings, we have all had those signings that gave us experiences that we will never forget, that we have met people along the way that have changed our lives in one way or another, and that there are times that we would look back at now and just plain laugh at or cherish the memory.
It’s a few of those that I want to share.
For starters… I remember at one particular book signing I walked into the store. They were obviously unprepared for me to arrive as there was no table set up for me, no poster to announce I’d be there, etc. I walked to the desk where the girl at the counter was helping a long line of customers. I had my hands full. I had brought a basket of flowers, (my main character was into landscaping- a small flower was given to each person who had me sign a book and to each sales clerk upon my leaving) I also had a jar of candy to help decorate my table, and a book of mint brownies for the store staff with a saying “I mint to tell you thank you for allowing me to come to your store today!”
As I stood there ready to drop everything, I overheard the girl at the counter going on and on about the wonderful author coming to the store to do a signing. She was EXTREMELY complimentary about the incredible writing talent of this mystery writer, how she can never figure out who the bad guy is, etc.
In the meantime, I was thrilled with the way she was gushing on and on about me. The customers kept looking over at me as they waited in line and my heart soared with this girl’s admiration of my talent.
Finally, one customer asked the author’s name. I was puffed up in pride by this time. The clerk looked up and said, “Betsy Brannon Green—she’ll be here next week and you just have to come back and meet her!” she squealed with excitement.
Lesson learned- Stay humble. I look back at that time and it certainly keeps me grounded. They had forgotten I was even coming that day.
Book signing hint- It’s the staff that sells your book. You want to leave them with a good impression. I have always tried to remember that. You are only there for a short time, but they are there every day. Letting them know you appreciate what they do in your behalf is beneficial to you. It’s them that gets your book into the hands of the readers. That being said, of course there are those that have made a name for themselves because of their talent alone. Me? I need all the help I can get!
At another book signing I had a gentleman come up and ask me all about my book. He acted genuinely interested in the plot and the background of how I came up with the storyline. I also noticed he went through the entire jar of candy as we talked, leaving all the wrappers from the candy crumbled all over the table. At the end of the candy he said, “Yeah well, I don’t read that kind of stuff anyway.” He acted disgusted by my book. I know he liked the candy though—
As for meeting people along the way—there are those signings that we get to meet people who want to meet us. Those are the ones who will buy the book and then write to you and tell you to keep at it. They keep you going. They keep you from getting discouraged and keep you from giving up.
Lesson learned—as writers we are our own worst critic. Life gets in our way and takes up our time. We write for the love of it, for the challenges it brings. There are those who lift you up and encourage you to never give up. They make it all worth it.
Book signing hint—I always try to give some sort of give away at my book signings that go with the plot of the book as a thank you for buying the book. While this certainly isn’t necessary, It’s just a fun thing that I like to do. I didn’t do it with my first book, my second book was the flowers, the third, Kerry Blair helped me come up with the idea and we gave away troll dolls—which had to do with the storyline.
I have seen other authors do this as well. I loved Kerry’s book party when she gave party bags away with her Samantha Shade series – they had puzzles and pencils and treats in them.
Michele bell gave away butterfly boxes when she began her Butterfly series.I love the box that Michele gave me.
While doing things is a personal choice, I do think it’s nice to have a little candy dish out or something to decorate your table with. Sometimes the candy only brings people over to meet you, but hey, it’s a nice way to meet people too. :)
Other hints that authors suggested was checking to spell names correctly—even common names can be spelled differently.
Some use a matching pen that matches the cover art.
Some authors will sign with clever saying that have to do with the plot or series, while others will sign a personal message to family and friends.
I could go on and on about this topic. Not because of my vast knowledge—I’m afraid I lack there—but more because I have had some really fun experiences and I have some very choice memories of book signings—like the Clinton signing when I was in awe while doing a signing with so many of my favorite authors. It was such a wonderful experience for me to be among them.
The last experience I want to touch on is the signing that changes your life in one way or another. For me that would be when I went to a book signing. Not of my own, but to have one of my favorite authors sign one of my favorite books.
It was a Saturday morning I had gone to the Seagull store on 5400 So. And Redwood Road I had gone there to buy the next book in the Heart series by Kerry Blair. I had read them out of order but loved them so much I wanted them all. A saleslady told me Kerry would be in later that day to sign if I wanted to come back. I debated it back and forth but finally decided, as scared as I was to meet her, I wanted to tell her I loved her books and had always wanted to be a writer.
Long story short, I went back and from that book signing, Kerry Blair has changed my life for the good.
Not only has she taught me most of what I know about the world of writing, for without her I would have never gotten a book on the shelves, but my life is so much better because she is in it.
She has introduced me to some of my very best friends that I now have—each of whom I consider a blessing in my life—and has opened a whole new world for me.
Lesson learned—There are angels in this world that come and touch our lives for good and no matter how you try, no matter what you say, there are just no words to express your love and gratitude for what they mean to you.
Book signing hint-I decided a long time ago that it doesn’t matter how many books I sell at a book signing. I need to be in it for the experience. There are times that I have done a signing where people refuse to make eye contact. They’ll walk past me as if they can’t move away from me fast enough. Then there are times where I have signed one book right after another. Either way, I have met some wonderful people that I’ll never forget, I have some choice memories, but most of all, I have enjoyed the journey.
Apparently what started the discussion was a new author was about to embark on their first book signing and was asking for any helpful hints and suggestions to make their first book signing a success.
Many people wrote in with ideas – some of which I will share—but the topic of discussion got me thinking a bit.
It doesn’t seem like all that long ago I was asking the very same question of my friend Kerry Blair. I was about to do my first book signing and I had no idea what I was up against.
As always, Kerry gave me some helpful hints that have stuck with me and with time I have learned a few things along the way.
I know that if I were to ask each author on this blog, I believe that each of us would agree that with our book signings, we have all had those signings that gave us experiences that we will never forget, that we have met people along the way that have changed our lives in one way or another, and that there are times that we would look back at now and just plain laugh at or cherish the memory.
It’s a few of those that I want to share.
For starters… I remember at one particular book signing I walked into the store. They were obviously unprepared for me to arrive as there was no table set up for me, no poster to announce I’d be there, etc. I walked to the desk where the girl at the counter was helping a long line of customers. I had my hands full. I had brought a basket of flowers, (my main character was into landscaping- a small flower was given to each person who had me sign a book and to each sales clerk upon my leaving) I also had a jar of candy to help decorate my table, and a book of mint brownies for the store staff with a saying “I mint to tell you thank you for allowing me to come to your store today!”
As I stood there ready to drop everything, I overheard the girl at the counter going on and on about the wonderful author coming to the store to do a signing. She was EXTREMELY complimentary about the incredible writing talent of this mystery writer, how she can never figure out who the bad guy is, etc.
In the meantime, I was thrilled with the way she was gushing on and on about me. The customers kept looking over at me as they waited in line and my heart soared with this girl’s admiration of my talent.
Finally, one customer asked the author’s name. I was puffed up in pride by this time. The clerk looked up and said, “Betsy Brannon Green—she’ll be here next week and you just have to come back and meet her!” she squealed with excitement.
Lesson learned- Stay humble. I look back at that time and it certainly keeps me grounded. They had forgotten I was even coming that day.
Book signing hint- It’s the staff that sells your book. You want to leave them with a good impression. I have always tried to remember that. You are only there for a short time, but they are there every day. Letting them know you appreciate what they do in your behalf is beneficial to you. It’s them that gets your book into the hands of the readers. That being said, of course there are those that have made a name for themselves because of their talent alone. Me? I need all the help I can get!
At another book signing I had a gentleman come up and ask me all about my book. He acted genuinely interested in the plot and the background of how I came up with the storyline. I also noticed he went through the entire jar of candy as we talked, leaving all the wrappers from the candy crumbled all over the table. At the end of the candy he said, “Yeah well, I don’t read that kind of stuff anyway.” He acted disgusted by my book. I know he liked the candy though—
As for meeting people along the way—there are those signings that we get to meet people who want to meet us. Those are the ones who will buy the book and then write to you and tell you to keep at it. They keep you going. They keep you from getting discouraged and keep you from giving up.
Lesson learned—as writers we are our own worst critic. Life gets in our way and takes up our time. We write for the love of it, for the challenges it brings. There are those who lift you up and encourage you to never give up. They make it all worth it.
Book signing hint—I always try to give some sort of give away at my book signings that go with the plot of the book as a thank you for buying the book. While this certainly isn’t necessary, It’s just a fun thing that I like to do. I didn’t do it with my first book, my second book was the flowers, the third, Kerry Blair helped me come up with the idea and we gave away troll dolls—which had to do with the storyline.
I have seen other authors do this as well. I loved Kerry’s book party when she gave party bags away with her Samantha Shade series – they had puzzles and pencils and treats in them.
Michele bell gave away butterfly boxes when she began her Butterfly series.I love the box that Michele gave me.
While doing things is a personal choice, I do think it’s nice to have a little candy dish out or something to decorate your table with. Sometimes the candy only brings people over to meet you, but hey, it’s a nice way to meet people too. :)
Other hints that authors suggested was checking to spell names correctly—even common names can be spelled differently.
Some use a matching pen that matches the cover art.
Some authors will sign with clever saying that have to do with the plot or series, while others will sign a personal message to family and friends.
I could go on and on about this topic. Not because of my vast knowledge—I’m afraid I lack there—but more because I have had some really fun experiences and I have some very choice memories of book signings—like the Clinton signing when I was in awe while doing a signing with so many of my favorite authors. It was such a wonderful experience for me to be among them.
The last experience I want to touch on is the signing that changes your life in one way or another. For me that would be when I went to a book signing. Not of my own, but to have one of my favorite authors sign one of my favorite books.
It was a Saturday morning I had gone to the Seagull store on 5400 So. And Redwood Road I had gone there to buy the next book in the Heart series by Kerry Blair. I had read them out of order but loved them so much I wanted them all. A saleslady told me Kerry would be in later that day to sign if I wanted to come back. I debated it back and forth but finally decided, as scared as I was to meet her, I wanted to tell her I loved her books and had always wanted to be a writer.
Long story short, I went back and from that book signing, Kerry Blair has changed my life for the good.
Not only has she taught me most of what I know about the world of writing, for without her I would have never gotten a book on the shelves, but my life is so much better because she is in it.
She has introduced me to some of my very best friends that I now have—each of whom I consider a blessing in my life—and has opened a whole new world for me.
Lesson learned—There are angels in this world that come and touch our lives for good and no matter how you try, no matter what you say, there are just no words to express your love and gratitude for what they mean to you.
Book signing hint-I decided a long time ago that it doesn’t matter how many books I sell at a book signing. I need to be in it for the experience. There are times that I have done a signing where people refuse to make eye contact. They’ll walk past me as if they can’t move away from me fast enough. Then there are times where I have signed one book right after another. Either way, I have met some wonderful people that I’ll never forget, I have some choice memories, but most of all, I have enjoyed the journey.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Youth Conference
My youngest son was asked to be a speaker at a devotional for our youth conference this year.
As a mother, I am quite proud of the way he gathered his thoughts together as he tried to speak on how the theme of the conference can help him in his life. So, I have taken the liberty to ask him to be a guest blogger and share with us the theme for youth conference and also share with us his thoughts (and his talk) that he gave. So, introducing, my youngest son, Bryan:
This year’s theme is, “Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid, neither be dismayed. For the Lord thy God is with thee wherever thou goest”
This theme can be a big help in my life because of the challenges I have.
I’ve had three brain surgeries because I have seizures. At one point in my life, I was having up to twenty seven seizures a day and who knows how many at night. Even after taking medication to slow them down, it was unsuccessful, so it was decided our only option was surgery.
These surgeries have made it difficult for me to explain what I think and how I feel. It’s also difficult for me to understand language skills. So learning and reading is a real challenge for me.
One surgery caused me to have a stroke. This affected my balance so playing sports is pretty difficult. To top it off, I still have seizures, but not as many as I used to.
My challenges can be discouraging at times and I don’t always feel like I fit in.
I have a motto whenever I have to face challenges or problems and that is to, “Face your fears.” I say that to myself and then I say a prayer to my Heavenly Father. I know He will give me the courage I need to overcome my fears and face my challenge head on. At those times He always sends me comfort and strength.
I have also been given Priesthood Blessings. I have seen what the power of the Priesthood can do. I have seen miracles in my life because of those blessings.
I know I have my trials. I have had these challenges my whole life. But I also know that my Heavenly Father is there to help me with my challenges. I believe he hurts when I hurt and he is there to lift me up when I need him the most. I know he has been there throughout my life. I am so grateful to him and I love him for helping me and blessing me through my challenges and trials.
I know he will do the same for each of you, because he loves you too.
As a mother, I am quite proud of the way he gathered his thoughts together as he tried to speak on how the theme of the conference can help him in his life. So, I have taken the liberty to ask him to be a guest blogger and share with us the theme for youth conference and also share with us his thoughts (and his talk) that he gave. So, introducing, my youngest son, Bryan:
This year’s theme is, “Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid, neither be dismayed. For the Lord thy God is with thee wherever thou goest”
This theme can be a big help in my life because of the challenges I have.
I’ve had three brain surgeries because I have seizures. At one point in my life, I was having up to twenty seven seizures a day and who knows how many at night. Even after taking medication to slow them down, it was unsuccessful, so it was decided our only option was surgery.
These surgeries have made it difficult for me to explain what I think and how I feel. It’s also difficult for me to understand language skills. So learning and reading is a real challenge for me.
One surgery caused me to have a stroke. This affected my balance so playing sports is pretty difficult. To top it off, I still have seizures, but not as many as I used to.
My challenges can be discouraging at times and I don’t always feel like I fit in.
I have a motto whenever I have to face challenges or problems and that is to, “Face your fears.” I say that to myself and then I say a prayer to my Heavenly Father. I know He will give me the courage I need to overcome my fears and face my challenge head on. At those times He always sends me comfort and strength.
I have also been given Priesthood Blessings. I have seen what the power of the Priesthood can do. I have seen miracles in my life because of those blessings.
I know I have my trials. I have had these challenges my whole life. But I also know that my Heavenly Father is there to help me with my challenges. I believe he hurts when I hurt and he is there to lift me up when I need him the most. I know he has been there throughout my life. I am so grateful to him and I love him for helping me and blessing me through my challenges and trials.
I know he will do the same for each of you, because he loves you too.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Good Things to Come
I tried to gather my thoughts together, wishing to come up with a topic to blog about.
I have to admit I had one post I had previously started, knowing my turn to blog was fast approaching. However, as I tried to finish it, nothing really came out sounding the way I wanted it to.
Instead, my mind kept wandering to other thoughts. That is, that so many of my dearest friends, or their families, and even members within my own family are facing many difficult challenges at this time.
While each and every one of us hold each other in our thoughts and prayers, often times I feel so limited with my words to offer and support.
So, I went searching. It was fairly easy thanks to modern day technology (the internet) and that great Church site we have – lds.org. I found a message from Elder Jeffery R. Holland entitled, Good Things to Come.
When I listened to this wonderful message, it made me smile, it touched my heart, and it gave me asense of renewed hope. I found the strength and comfort. It was a gentle reminder, and one I needed to hear at the moment.
To all my friends and loved ones who are facing their own set of challenges, I hope you know how much I love you and that I care. I hope Elder Holland’s message uplifts you the same way that it did for me.
I have to admit I had one post I had previously started, knowing my turn to blog was fast approaching. However, as I tried to finish it, nothing really came out sounding the way I wanted it to.
Instead, my mind kept wandering to other thoughts. That is, that so many of my dearest friends, or their families, and even members within my own family are facing many difficult challenges at this time.
While each and every one of us hold each other in our thoughts and prayers, often times I feel so limited with my words to offer and support.
So, I went searching. It was fairly easy thanks to modern day technology (the internet) and that great Church site we have – lds.org. I found a message from Elder Jeffery R. Holland entitled, Good Things to Come.
When I listened to this wonderful message, it made me smile, it touched my heart, and it gave me asense of renewed hope. I found the strength and comfort. It was a gentle reminder, and one I needed to hear at the moment.
To all my friends and loved ones who are facing their own set of challenges, I hope you know how much I love you and that I care. I hope Elder Holland’s message uplifts you the same way that it did for me.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
First Impressions
While recently working in the Temple cafeteria, I had the wonderful experience of serving dinner to Elder Richard G. Scott, Sister Madsen, (the sweet widow of Brother Truman R. Madsen) and their guest whom I am unsure but I suspect was a grandson of one of theirs.
I loved serving them and visiting with them. All were very complimentary of the food and service. It was such a pleasure to be in their company.
Upon returning to the kitchen, I was told by my fellow worker I had a green thing stuck in the middle of my teeth. Now, this was no small thing, it was a great big piece of leafy green lettuce. I was horrified considering the company I had just been in. Such is the way things go for me… I can laugh it off--several days later. But it has me thinking about first impressions.
First of all, I looked up the meaning of first impressions: It is a first consideration or judgment.
We are told we are not to “judge” or that we are to judge in righteousness. As I think of the definition and this warning coupled with the definition of “first impressions”—particularly the word judgment I can’t help but think how I am rarely correct with my first impressions of people. I find that often times those who I am most nervous to meet; that I feel intimidated by, are often the most down to earth and lovable people. In fact, it is true that in a some instances there are people I was terrified to meet, because I admired them so much for their talents, that turned out to be completely wonderful just by being themselves and not just defined by their talents. They became my some of my best friends. I admired them for first being who they are.
Then there are those who I feel I may have much in common with, seem to be the ones I end up least connected to and often the simple things we have in common, may in fact be our only link.
I have learned very well, to pay little heed to my first impressions, as they usually end up being nothing more than snap judgments and I would hate to lose out on some of the wonderful friendships I could have had because of a wrong first impression. (There is of course an exception to this rule when a first impression warns you that a person is dangerous or could harm you, etc. in that case I would pay very close attention and follow that prompting!)
If I have such a hard time with making a correct first impression, then do others have a difficult time as well? How do others perceive me for the first time? It makes me wonder. I may score more points if I don’t walk around with big green things hanging between my front teeth…
I have read that it takes 30 seconds to two minutes for people to make up their minds about you. This may be way overestimating things. I have also read it takes seven seconds to seventeen seconds to make a first impression. Whichever is correct, that doesn’t give a person much time to make a lasting consideration or to have a judgment placed on them. I do know that it is said, “You don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression.”
I found an article written by Bill Lampton who has a PhD,. He made a list of seven things that make a good strong first impression. I won’t quote him of the article in it’s entirety, nor will I quote him word for word in places, but I thought the ideas were good. And if I may, I’d like to add and eighth one to the list at the bottom. So here we go:
1. The greatest way to make a positive first impression is to demonstrate immediately that the other person, not you, is the center of action and conversation. --He says if the spotlight is only on you you’ll miss opportunities for friendships, jobs, networking, and sales, etc. If you show that you are other- centered people will want to see you again.
2. Closely related: Use superb listening skills. Using prompts like, “How interesting!” or “What did you do next?” shows excellent listening skills and positive verbal cues. Maintain eye contact and avoid looking over your shoulder for an escape route.
3. Using the name of a new acquaintance shows you paid attention from the start. It also makes the conversation more personal.
4. Be careful with Humor. Although a quip or two may serve as an icebreaker, you don’t want sarcasm to backfire. You don’t know a stranger’s sensitivities.
5. Follow Dr. Wayne Dryer’s advice, offered in his in his book “Real Magic,” by “giving up the need to be right.” Confrontations with someone you’ve just met will spoil any rapport you can have. Wait until you can establish credibility before you challenge another’s statements.
6. Appearance counts. What he had to say here applied more for work or job interviews. But I still think the way we take care of ourselves portrays a message no matter where we are.
7. As a communication specialist, I have to point out that an individual’s speaking style impacts a first impression, maybe more than we wish—listeners judge our intelligence, our education, our cultural level, even our leadership abilities on the words we select-- and by the way we say them.
8. And the one I wanted to add was to not walk around with green things in your teeth. Perhaps this falls under the appearance category?
I do know that I tend to joke around a lot and I know I take for granted that people know where my heart is at. I would never mean to intentionally hurt or mistreat any one. But what of first impressions? Number four caught my attention and so did a few of the others on this list. And it all started with #8.
I know that I’ll be more mindful of my first considerations of people because to me, no second chances at giving a good first impressions seems—well, it just seems a little too judgmental for my peace of mind. :)
I loved serving them and visiting with them. All were very complimentary of the food and service. It was such a pleasure to be in their company.
Upon returning to the kitchen, I was told by my fellow worker I had a green thing stuck in the middle of my teeth. Now, this was no small thing, it was a great big piece of leafy green lettuce. I was horrified considering the company I had just been in. Such is the way things go for me… I can laugh it off--several days later. But it has me thinking about first impressions.
First of all, I looked up the meaning of first impressions: It is a first consideration or judgment.
We are told we are not to “judge” or that we are to judge in righteousness. As I think of the definition and this warning coupled with the definition of “first impressions”—particularly the word judgment I can’t help but think how I am rarely correct with my first impressions of people. I find that often times those who I am most nervous to meet; that I feel intimidated by, are often the most down to earth and lovable people. In fact, it is true that in a some instances there are people I was terrified to meet, because I admired them so much for their talents, that turned out to be completely wonderful just by being themselves and not just defined by their talents. They became my some of my best friends. I admired them for first being who they are.
Then there are those who I feel I may have much in common with, seem to be the ones I end up least connected to and often the simple things we have in common, may in fact be our only link.
I have learned very well, to pay little heed to my first impressions, as they usually end up being nothing more than snap judgments and I would hate to lose out on some of the wonderful friendships I could have had because of a wrong first impression. (There is of course an exception to this rule when a first impression warns you that a person is dangerous or could harm you, etc. in that case I would pay very close attention and follow that prompting!)
If I have such a hard time with making a correct first impression, then do others have a difficult time as well? How do others perceive me for the first time? It makes me wonder. I may score more points if I don’t walk around with big green things hanging between my front teeth…
I have read that it takes 30 seconds to two minutes for people to make up their minds about you. This may be way overestimating things. I have also read it takes seven seconds to seventeen seconds to make a first impression. Whichever is correct, that doesn’t give a person much time to make a lasting consideration or to have a judgment placed on them. I do know that it is said, “You don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression.”
I found an article written by Bill Lampton who has a PhD,. He made a list of seven things that make a good strong first impression. I won’t quote him of the article in it’s entirety, nor will I quote him word for word in places, but I thought the ideas were good. And if I may, I’d like to add and eighth one to the list at the bottom. So here we go:
1. The greatest way to make a positive first impression is to demonstrate immediately that the other person, not you, is the center of action and conversation. --He says if the spotlight is only on you you’ll miss opportunities for friendships, jobs, networking, and sales, etc. If you show that you are other- centered people will want to see you again.
2. Closely related: Use superb listening skills. Using prompts like, “How interesting!” or “What did you do next?” shows excellent listening skills and positive verbal cues. Maintain eye contact and avoid looking over your shoulder for an escape route.
3. Using the name of a new acquaintance shows you paid attention from the start. It also makes the conversation more personal.
4. Be careful with Humor. Although a quip or two may serve as an icebreaker, you don’t want sarcasm to backfire. You don’t know a stranger’s sensitivities.
5. Follow Dr. Wayne Dryer’s advice, offered in his in his book “Real Magic,” by “giving up the need to be right.” Confrontations with someone you’ve just met will spoil any rapport you can have. Wait until you can establish credibility before you challenge another’s statements.
6. Appearance counts. What he had to say here applied more for work or job interviews. But I still think the way we take care of ourselves portrays a message no matter where we are.
7. As a communication specialist, I have to point out that an individual’s speaking style impacts a first impression, maybe more than we wish—listeners judge our intelligence, our education, our cultural level, even our leadership abilities on the words we select-- and by the way we say them.
8. And the one I wanted to add was to not walk around with green things in your teeth. Perhaps this falls under the appearance category?
I do know that I tend to joke around a lot and I know I take for granted that people know where my heart is at. I would never mean to intentionally hurt or mistreat any one. But what of first impressions? Number four caught my attention and so did a few of the others on this list. And it all started with #8.
I know that I’ll be more mindful of my first considerations of people because to me, no second chances at giving a good first impressions seems—well, it just seems a little too judgmental for my peace of mind. :)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
A Father's Day Tribute
I am certainly counting my blessings this week. As the weekend draws near and Father’s Day is rapidly approaching, I feel very grateful that I have both my father and my father in law in my life here to honor on that special day.
I have always been close to my dad. Growing up a bit of a tomboy, I could be found outside as soon as my inside chores were done. I’d stay out until I was forced back into the house in the late evening.
As kids we played baseball, did balancing acts and cartwheels along the top of the fences, ran around barefoot (until my mother would catch us and then I’d slip shoes on but only until she wasn’t looking again) I loved following my dad around driving him crazy with millions of senseless questions.
He was always involved with some project or another whether it was building barns, planting gardens, landscaping, taking care of all kinds of animals, building fish ponds and water falls. As a child, I thought he did the coolest things. Years later, at the age of 81, he is still doing most of those things and I have come to appreciate those talents of his even more. My dad may have an incredibly creative side to him, but there is so much more to admire.
When my mother passed away, it was pretty tough on him, as I know it is on everyone who loses a loved one. But after losing my mother, his wife, my dad, stepped in and tried to take over where my mother had left off. This was no easy task. She was like wonder woman and my dad was dealing with a broken heart. Still, each year, because Christmas was my mother’s favorite holiday, he has a big open house for neighbors and friends during the holidays. He serves refreshments and does it on a Monday night so people can come for Family Home Evening. The kids can see his Christmas village, that takes him over a week to set up, that comes complete with two running trains.
He keeps a calendar of family events so he won’t forget birthdays, anniversaries, and always makes sure he sends Mother’s Day cards and Valentine’s Day cards to his daughter’s and their families.
He is truly a man with a good heart. I love my dad for teaching me that when I serve others. I am serving my savior. Those are not just words he taught, he taught by example. He himself would give the shirt off his back if he knew someone was in need. I can’t tell you how many times he has helped me when I was in need.
I could go on and on but the one thing that strikes me is that for his 80th birthday, we made a DVD of his life. At the end of it, we recorded my dad giving a message to his family. The one message he wanted us to always remember if wewere to remember one thing, it would be, “To keep the faith. No matter what, just hang in there and keep the faith.” Throughout my life, when I have had struggles or trials my dad has given me much needed help and advice. He would talk to me, help me, tell me to pray, and, “Jeri, keep the faith.” One thing is for certain, my father has always kept the faith. His testimony makes him the honorable man that he is.
I am very grateful for the role my father plays in my life and in the life of my family. I can’t begin to find the words to tell you how blessed I feel to have him with us this Father’s Day. I am also thankful for the example he is to us.
I feel so wonderfully blessed to have my father in law in our lives as well. He too is such an amazing man. He has fought a battle with cancer with incredible courage. Steve is a man with charm and humor. He has wisdom and is full of wit and an inner strength and testimony that has had a great influence on his family. My husband is the tremendous man he is, I believe, because of the example his father is to him.
I love and admire my husband for so, so, many reasons but one big one is the kind of father he has been to our sons. He is an honorable man and has tried hard to establish a good relationship with his sons. He has tried to teach them to make good choices and to live in righteousness. Through his example he has tried to teach them to honor their Priesthood as he, himself does. Now my oldest son will enjoy his first official Father’s Day with his own son.
What more can a girl ask for? Is it any wonder that as Father’s Day rolls around, my heart is very full for the wonderful blessings I enjoy? I have some wonderful men in my life. I’m thrilled to celebrate this day, to try to express my gratitude for the great fathers in my life.
I have always been close to my dad. Growing up a bit of a tomboy, I could be found outside as soon as my inside chores were done. I’d stay out until I was forced back into the house in the late evening.
As kids we played baseball, did balancing acts and cartwheels along the top of the fences, ran around barefoot (until my mother would catch us and then I’d slip shoes on but only until she wasn’t looking again) I loved following my dad around driving him crazy with millions of senseless questions.
He was always involved with some project or another whether it was building barns, planting gardens, landscaping, taking care of all kinds of animals, building fish ponds and water falls. As a child, I thought he did the coolest things. Years later, at the age of 81, he is still doing most of those things and I have come to appreciate those talents of his even more. My dad may have an incredibly creative side to him, but there is so much more to admire.
When my mother passed away, it was pretty tough on him, as I know it is on everyone who loses a loved one. But after losing my mother, his wife, my dad, stepped in and tried to take over where my mother had left off. This was no easy task. She was like wonder woman and my dad was dealing with a broken heart. Still, each year, because Christmas was my mother’s favorite holiday, he has a big open house for neighbors and friends during the holidays. He serves refreshments and does it on a Monday night so people can come for Family Home Evening. The kids can see his Christmas village, that takes him over a week to set up, that comes complete with two running trains.
He keeps a calendar of family events so he won’t forget birthdays, anniversaries, and always makes sure he sends Mother’s Day cards and Valentine’s Day cards to his daughter’s and their families.
He is truly a man with a good heart. I love my dad for teaching me that when I serve others. I am serving my savior. Those are not just words he taught, he taught by example. He himself would give the shirt off his back if he knew someone was in need. I can’t tell you how many times he has helped me when I was in need.
I could go on and on but the one thing that strikes me is that for his 80th birthday, we made a DVD of his life. At the end of it, we recorded my dad giving a message to his family. The one message he wanted us to always remember if wewere to remember one thing, it would be, “To keep the faith. No matter what, just hang in there and keep the faith.” Throughout my life, when I have had struggles or trials my dad has given me much needed help and advice. He would talk to me, help me, tell me to pray, and, “Jeri, keep the faith.” One thing is for certain, my father has always kept the faith. His testimony makes him the honorable man that he is.
I am very grateful for the role my father plays in my life and in the life of my family. I can’t begin to find the words to tell you how blessed I feel to have him with us this Father’s Day. I am also thankful for the example he is to us.
I feel so wonderfully blessed to have my father in law in our lives as well. He too is such an amazing man. He has fought a battle with cancer with incredible courage. Steve is a man with charm and humor. He has wisdom and is full of wit and an inner strength and testimony that has had a great influence on his family. My husband is the tremendous man he is, I believe, because of the example his father is to him.
I love and admire my husband for so, so, many reasons but one big one is the kind of father he has been to our sons. He is an honorable man and has tried hard to establish a good relationship with his sons. He has tried to teach them to make good choices and to live in righteousness. Through his example he has tried to teach them to honor their Priesthood as he, himself does. Now my oldest son will enjoy his first official Father’s Day with his own son.
What more can a girl ask for? Is it any wonder that as Father’s Day rolls around, my heart is very full for the wonderful blessings I enjoy? I have some wonderful men in my life. I’m thrilled to celebrate this day, to try to express my gratitude for the great fathers in my life.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Taps
As the sun rises over the mountains, one can hear the haunting melody of Taps being played by a lone bugler in the quiet little cemetery of Mona, Utah. The bugler comes to play every Memorial Day in honor of the service men and women buried there.
Our family has a tradition of going to the cemetery on Memorial Day to see the sunrise ceremony. The flag is raised at half mast, we hear the gun salute and listen to the famous military piece Taps played before we place flowers on loved ones gravesites.
Listening to the bugle play always brings a lump to my throat, tears to my eyes, and pride in my heart. My father served in the Air Force for four years, two of which were in a war zone in Korea where he saw the devastating effects of war both among people and land. He has a deep appreciation for our country, for it’s service men and women and therefore tried to instill within his own family that same appreciation. He is considering a military burial when that time comes as an expression of love for his country and the way he tried to live within it.
There is quite a story circulating in regards to the origin of the melody of Taps. The story is as follows:
It all began in 1862 during the Civil War, when Union Army Captain Robert Ellicombe was with his men near Harrison's Landing in Virginia. The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land. During the night, Captain Ellicombe heard the moans of a soldier who lay severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or Confederate soldier, the Captain decided to risk his life and bring the stricken man back for medical attention. Crawling on his stomach through the gunfire, the Captain reached the stricken soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment. When the Captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it was actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead. The Captain lit a lantern and suddenly caught his breath and went numb with shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was his son. The boy had been studying music in the South when the war broke out. Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate Army. The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of his superiors to give his son a full military burial, despite his enemy status. His request was only partially granted. The Captain had asked if he could have a group of Army band members play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral. The request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate. But, out of respect for the father, they did say they could give him only one musician. The Captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead youth's uniform. This wish was granted. The haunting melody, is what we now know as "Taps."
While the story is certainly touching, historians have checked the facts only to find the story is merely a legend. Actually, according to a researcher from West Point, there is no historical evidence that a Captain by the name of Robert Ellicombe even existed in the Union Army. Historians from Arlington National Cemetery agree that the song did indeed originate in 1862 and it was while at Harrison’s Landing in Virginia, that the piece was written but that is where the facts in this story ends.
Taps was written by Brig. General Daniel Butterfield, an American Civil War General. The bugle call was to signal to the soldiers "lights out." Oliver W. Norton, Butterfield’s bugler, was the first to sound the new call. Within only a couple of months of it being written, both Union and Confederate armies used the call.
Today Taps can be heard at the conclusion of Military burials conducted with honors at Arlington National Cemetery, hundreds of ceremonies at cemeteries around the United States and at private funerals.
Each year Taps is sounded during the wreath ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers, and it is still played nightly at military installations in non-deployed locations to signal "lights out."
However, there is one more account that involves a man by the name of John C. Tidball. He was a Union artillery captain who ordered the call to be sounded for a fallen soldier.
Army Col. James A. Moss, in an Officer's Manual initially published in 1911, reported the following account:
"During the Peninsula Campaign in 1862, a soldier of Tidball's Battery A of the 2nd Artillery was buried at a time when the battery occupied an advanced position concealed in the woods. It was unsafe to fire the customary three volleys over the grave, on account of the proximity of the enemy, and it occurred to Capt. Tidball that the sounding of Taps would be the most appropriate ceremony that could be substituted."
This may not have anything to do with the origin of the song, it is however, the first recorded instance of Taps being used in accord with a military funeral. Until then the call sounded meant that the solider’s day was done.
How fitting then, that if the call signifies that a solider’s day is done and it is time for lights to be put out, that the very same call is sounded one last time as that soldier or veteran is laid to rest. I think of the connotations this has with death. As they are laid to rest, the day is done, lights out, they are now laid safely to rest. It is not only honorable for those who have served, but it can be quite emotional for the family to hear their loved one respected in such a way. To have the call sounded, we are called to remember those who have given us so much that far too often we take for granted.
While the original version of the call was of course an instrumental piece, lyrics were added later. These words were written by Horace Lorenzo Trim:
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar drawing nigh,
Falls the night.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear,
Friend, goodnight.
Another verse of lyrics were added to a recording done by John Wayne, though it is unclear who wrote the words of the verse:
Fading light, Falling night;
Trumpet call, as the sun, sinks in flight
Sleep in peace, comrade dear,
God is near.
As we walked away from the ceremony, we looked at the gravesites of those who have gone before us. The cemetery is a beautiful resting place rich with history. Gravestones now weathered and aged date back to the early 1800’s. Many have short poetic statements rarely found on markers anymore. It’s not only interesting but educational to walk through the graveyard, reading the headstones found there.
There are men, some merely boys, and women as well, who fought and gave their lives so that I may have mine. And they are still doing it today. May I never forget that and be forever grateful for it.
Our family has a tradition of going to the cemetery on Memorial Day to see the sunrise ceremony. The flag is raised at half mast, we hear the gun salute and listen to the famous military piece Taps played before we place flowers on loved ones gravesites.
Listening to the bugle play always brings a lump to my throat, tears to my eyes, and pride in my heart. My father served in the Air Force for four years, two of which were in a war zone in Korea where he saw the devastating effects of war both among people and land. He has a deep appreciation for our country, for it’s service men and women and therefore tried to instill within his own family that same appreciation. He is considering a military burial when that time comes as an expression of love for his country and the way he tried to live within it.
There is quite a story circulating in regards to the origin of the melody of Taps. The story is as follows:
It all began in 1862 during the Civil War, when Union Army Captain Robert Ellicombe was with his men near Harrison's Landing in Virginia. The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land. During the night, Captain Ellicombe heard the moans of a soldier who lay severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or Confederate soldier, the Captain decided to risk his life and bring the stricken man back for medical attention. Crawling on his stomach through the gunfire, the Captain reached the stricken soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment. When the Captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it was actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead. The Captain lit a lantern and suddenly caught his breath and went numb with shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was his son. The boy had been studying music in the South when the war broke out. Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate Army. The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of his superiors to give his son a full military burial, despite his enemy status. His request was only partially granted. The Captain had asked if he could have a group of Army band members play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral. The request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate. But, out of respect for the father, they did say they could give him only one musician. The Captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead youth's uniform. This wish was granted. The haunting melody, is what we now know as "Taps."
While the story is certainly touching, historians have checked the facts only to find the story is merely a legend. Actually, according to a researcher from West Point, there is no historical evidence that a Captain by the name of Robert Ellicombe even existed in the Union Army. Historians from Arlington National Cemetery agree that the song did indeed originate in 1862 and it was while at Harrison’s Landing in Virginia, that the piece was written but that is where the facts in this story ends.
Taps was written by Brig. General Daniel Butterfield, an American Civil War General. The bugle call was to signal to the soldiers "lights out." Oliver W. Norton, Butterfield’s bugler, was the first to sound the new call. Within only a couple of months of it being written, both Union and Confederate armies used the call.
Today Taps can be heard at the conclusion of Military burials conducted with honors at Arlington National Cemetery, hundreds of ceremonies at cemeteries around the United States and at private funerals.
Each year Taps is sounded during the wreath ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers, and it is still played nightly at military installations in non-deployed locations to signal "lights out."
However, there is one more account that involves a man by the name of John C. Tidball. He was a Union artillery captain who ordered the call to be sounded for a fallen soldier.
Army Col. James A. Moss, in an Officer's Manual initially published in 1911, reported the following account:
"During the Peninsula Campaign in 1862, a soldier of Tidball's Battery A of the 2nd Artillery was buried at a time when the battery occupied an advanced position concealed in the woods. It was unsafe to fire the customary three volleys over the grave, on account of the proximity of the enemy, and it occurred to Capt. Tidball that the sounding of Taps would be the most appropriate ceremony that could be substituted."
This may not have anything to do with the origin of the song, it is however, the first recorded instance of Taps being used in accord with a military funeral. Until then the call sounded meant that the solider’s day was done.
How fitting then, that if the call signifies that a solider’s day is done and it is time for lights to be put out, that the very same call is sounded one last time as that soldier or veteran is laid to rest. I think of the connotations this has with death. As they are laid to rest, the day is done, lights out, they are now laid safely to rest. It is not only honorable for those who have served, but it can be quite emotional for the family to hear their loved one respected in such a way. To have the call sounded, we are called to remember those who have given us so much that far too often we take for granted.
While the original version of the call was of course an instrumental piece, lyrics were added later. These words were written by Horace Lorenzo Trim:
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar drawing nigh,
Falls the night.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear,
Friend, goodnight.
Another verse of lyrics were added to a recording done by John Wayne, though it is unclear who wrote the words of the verse:
Fading light, Falling night;
Trumpet call, as the sun, sinks in flight
Sleep in peace, comrade dear,
God is near.
As we walked away from the ceremony, we looked at the gravesites of those who have gone before us. The cemetery is a beautiful resting place rich with history. Gravestones now weathered and aged date back to the early 1800’s. Many have short poetic statements rarely found on markers anymore. It’s not only interesting but educational to walk through the graveyard, reading the headstones found there.
There are men, some merely boys, and women as well, who fought and gave their lives so that I may have mine. And they are still doing it today. May I never forget that and be forever grateful for it.
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